Mother Refuses to Accept Her Daughter Moving Out of Town, Tries to Make Her Apply to Jobs Closer to Home

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Jan 17, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Left alone with an empty nest can feel… well, empty. Watching your kids grow up and become adults with their own lives can be hard. Look, I get that being left alone sucks, especially when your entire identity is being a parent. But you have got to let them GO. Let them move out, let them make mistakes, let them do their thing… Trying to force someone to stay will only drive them further away.

This mother was absolutely livid when she found out her 22-year-old daughter was moving to a different state, and would be living five hours away. Instead of celebrating her daughter's success, she made her feel bad about it. Redditors had a lot to say on the matter… Scroll down to read the full story, and then when you are done reading, don't forget to check out these memes and tweets that are as warm as summer, and are sure to put a smile on your face.

Advertisement
  • 01
    My mom has a breakdown every time I tell her I'm moving out. She is just so angry at the prospect of me taking this job. She's mad that the pay is lower than my other opportunities, that there's no sign-on bonus, and that I'll know no one in my new city. She ignores me when I tell her that new grad positions in my specialty are few and far between, that I'm not signing a contract that locks me to the hospital, that the hospital has excellent ratios, that I'm 22 with no significant other or child
    via Canva
  • 02
    My mom has a breakdown every time I tell her I'm moving out. M I'm a 22 year old female. I just finished college with my BSN and got my RN license earlier this week. I've been offered a position in my desired specialty the next state over, about 5 hours away. The city is double the size of my current town and has much higher crime stats, but it's a good opportunity and I'm excited about starting a new adventure. The only people who are not excited for me are my family, my mom especially.
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 03
    She is just so angry at the prospect of me taking this job. She's mad that the pay is lower than my other opportunities, that there's no sign-on bonus, and that I'll know no one in my new city. She ignores me when I tell her that new grad positions in my specialty are few and far between, that I'm not signing a contract that locks me to the hospital, that the hospital has excellent ratios, that I'm 22 with no significant other or children tying me to my hometown, that I have no significant asset
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 04
    She keeps making passive-aggressive comments about how I feel that she didn't support me enough through college, which isn't true. I paid my way through my bachelor's degree on my own and she hates me saying that. I know she'll be hurt if I don't involve her in the moving process, but when I do try to involve her (showing her apartments, looking at furniture, etc.) she blows up and accuses me of shoving it in her face. Last night she tried once again
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 05
    to convince me to apply to other jobs closer to home after she asked what my plan was and I gave her the same answer I've been giving her for over a month. When I pointed out that these jobs were at hospitals with poor ratios and bad reputations (HCA facilities) and not in my desired specialty, she blew up again, told me she's not arguing with me, and went to bed for the night.
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 06
    I'm just so exhausted, and beyond that I'm hurt. Her neighbors' 19 year old son just left for the Air Force and she talks frequently about how awful his step- mother is for being mad about him leaving when he's such a sweet, good kid. I've spent my entire life trying to please her. I didn't even apply to schools outside of my hometown when I graduated high school, I paid for my degree so my parents didn't have to shoulder the burden, I've worked 2-3 jobs around the clock since I was 18 despite b
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 07
    very involved in helping with my chronically ill younger sister and my delinquent little brother. I am in a constant anxious state of "trying my best" if that makes sense. A constant march towards an unattainable goal. And yet I'm not good enough, nor responsible enough, nor ready to try to be independent? I love my mom, and my family. I feel so guilty about leaving that it's literally eating me up inside. I'm supposed to move in a week from today and I have no idea how to leave on good terms be
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 08
    keeps giving me bills for various things and I'm worried that she's going to try to charge me more once I'm actually gone and my savings will be totally depleted. Sorry for the rant, I'm just exhausted at this point.
    via u/Purdicialle
  • 09
    helell33a 2 days ago Since you aren't being told this at home..... You've worked hard to get your degree. It's time to leave the nest and start your life. Please don't let anyone take you down. This mom and grandma is proud and excited you GS ARE MKAY 1.1k Reply Share itsjusthowiam. 2 days ago This mom, too! Frankly, I'm impressed. You're doing great! 190 Reply Share
    via u/helell33a, u/itsjusthowiam
  • 10
    Hopeful Disaster_. 2 days ago Stop telling her things. 209 Reply Share indiajeweljax 1 day ago . Also this. Everyone does not lend a friendly ear. OP does not have the Clair Huxtable/June Cleaver type of mom that she wishes she had. She's stuck with Cersei Lannister/Norma Bates.
    via u/Hopeful_Disaster, u/indiajeweljax
  • 11
    Act accordingly. Your business is your own. Gray rock her. Don't even give her your address. I feel sorry for OP. She's too enmeshed and will end up broke paying for two households. I wish she would take her belongings today and RUN. 33 Reply Share
    via u/indiajeweljax
  • 12
    Lisa_Knows_Best 2 days ago Let me guess - you help a lot with your younger sister and brother, right? She's losing her unpaid labor. Leave, don't look back. It's scary at first but you'll find the freedom of being on your own is so, so, so liberating. When you do leave try to minimize calls, texts, emails. She's going to continue to badger you and try to make you feel bad/guilty. Take a step back and learn to be you alone. It's refreshing to discover yourself. You also don't need to pay her for
    via u/Lisa_Knows_Best
  • 13
    your plan of getting out, the more distance the better. You should hold off on visits for a while as well. Get yourself into the heads pace you need to be in before you see her again. Live YOUR life. It's only just beginning. I wish you well. Reply Share 221 ...
    via u/Lisa_Knows_Best
  • 14
    icedragon9791- 2 days ago Omg you are doing way too much for that woman. Start respecting yourself!!! You're not going to leave on good terms no matter what you do because she is dedicated to making sure that doesn't happen. Stop trying to please her. Move out and start your new life and let her rage and stew. Put yourself first. Congratulations on the opportunity, do not give it up. 87 Reply Share
    via u/icedragon9791
  • 15
    Old Map_943 . 2 days ago I know it's difficult because you love her but you need to stay strong. This is YOUR future that you have already worked and fought so hard for. This is the last step to your adulthood and complete independence. It's going to be the hardest because of the guilt your mother is making you feel. Look at it this way... Your Momma should be your biggest supporter right now and she's only thinking of herself. She KNOWS that you being 5hours away will end her manipulation of yo
    via u/Old_Map_943
  • 16
    I know I'm just a stranger on Reddit but I'm so proud of you for working so hard and getting this far. You've GOT THIS! Hang I. For the next week and then GOOOOO! hugshugs 33 Reply Share
    via u/Old_Map_943
  • 17
    Maggies_lens 2 days ago She's jealous, and angry she's losing her plaything ie. you. She had plans for you, and you're breaking them by darling to live your own life. Go. And let her stew in her own juices. Do you guys have a rental agreement of some sort? No? Then don't pay a i cent. She's ruined relationships for you, and now she's trying to ruin you financially. You may love her, but she absolutely does not love you. Reply Share 32
    via u/Maggies_lens
  • 18
    brubran75. 2 days ago Stop telling her what you are doing. Make your arrangements and keep them to yourself. Make sure you have all of your identification and important papers. Make your arrangements and pack. There's nothing to discuss. You are a 22yo woman, and it's time to make your own way in life. When you do leave tell her you would like to leave on good terms so you can come back home to visit and keep in touch but if she can't be an adult about this then you may need to take a breather f
    via u/brubran75

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

town apply jobs family drama entitled parents annoying students kids mother new hire new job parenting far away family moving away college parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article